FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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