Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this will be a night to untag.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
