Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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