All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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