I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
