im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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