I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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