Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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