take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
