I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
