I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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