You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
