I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
