I can tuck mytits in my pants
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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