when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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