1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
