How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
