Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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