Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave