he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.