I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
what food is Colorado known for?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"