The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
