His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got inside last night via doggy door
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
