Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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