I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
