I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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