I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize