Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
