i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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