just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
whose ass print is on the piano?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
