Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
