At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
