somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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