my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
