fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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