people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
