I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
