your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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