Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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