No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
