U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
