So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
