Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
