wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
