yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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