I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
