Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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