would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
