I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
