it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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