So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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