mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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