There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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