Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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