Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
