i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
