I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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