My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
