i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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