Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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