Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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