a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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