Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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