uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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