dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
