so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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