Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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