i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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